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Monday, October 22, 2012

god is always moving, just trust him

Nature, is the lords playground............ I took a step out my back porch the other day and it was like I was entering a different world.. the air was so crisp and beautiful, the squirrels were running away from the dogs !! the birds were singing, This truly was the day the lord hath made, and I surely was rejoicing in it ! I had my pumpkin coffee and homemade bread from my mom with some amazing irish butter! I had my journal and pen ready to go .. so I started in prayer as always, thanking god for every breath and really soaking in everything around me ! God immediately started bringing things to mind, and I immediately started seeing things that I don't think had space in my head or heart to see before this day.. when you go through such trauma or serious circumstances, lord only knows what it does to you or your body & mind.. what i do know is, in gods timing if we allow him, he will heal us of it all.. it may not be an easy road and there may be unbearable moments, but the lord always promises to be with us, so trust that he will be there when we come out of it!My focus for the past 1-2 years was on my husband and then my children.. I of course was not a focus!! I believe with all I had to do, that i only had so much space in my head to be able to handle.. so now that life is settling down and things arent so insane.. these circumstances arise, and I have to work through them, well let me rephrase that- we always have a choice.. we can choose to work through them or we can run.......... well, Lisa did enough running most of her life.. so its been long time coming to hit them head on.. so on this day in particular the lord showed me how important it is to be humble and ask for forgiveness.. no matter how right or wrong you or the other person are... take the boxing gloves off... i did this quite some time ago.. but I had to make right the people i left outside the rink because i couldn't handle anything but what was happening here in my home.. now I am not saying I regret what has happened in my life, i truly believe there is a purpose in all things.. and i truly believe god used my circumstances i went through for good, but Its in my obedience to him , that I must make all things into alignment with what he wants and expects of me.. ( his will)  I gave my life over and even though sometimes i may cringe and cry.. i know its for my own good and the good of others to do what he calls me too.. so i humbly went in tears before my father and asked for his forgiveness.. things haven't been right between us for quite sometime, and although i learned so much through the experiences i just went through, i still needed to honor and respect my parents and the agreements I have made to them.. So, as i asked for him to forgive me in his heart and asked that we rebuild our relationship god was moving,  ( even though I couldn't see him right at that moment )  he was aligning things up for the agreement i  haven't been able to fulfill to them in order to honor them.. I am so blessed truly to have a set of loving parents who are willing to accept me, even in this transformed way..  i believe that they trust me and i believe god is going to show them , up close & personal who big he is! So, needless to say I am excited for the future..   I have been told recently my sister case against her husband will be going to trial, and i have to testify.. ;( not looking forward to this after January  but i do know this is the last door the lord has to close for me, before he makes ALL things new.. hes already starting and what a crazy ride it has been so far.. i cant wait to c where he takes me next! So, the moral of today.. even when you can see him, feel him or hear him.. god is always moving for your good, you have to b willing to let him !!

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