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Friday, October 19, 2012

This is the day the lord has made and I WILL rejoice

Well, no matter how hard somedays seem, no matter what the emotional hump I have to get over is, I will make the choice to rejoice in the day! Dont get me wrong.. I have my ups and downs.. my happy moments and my sad- but overall I praise god they are just moments.. then joy comes in  the morning or after the hump..! I have had a few really impacted days lately.. I was prayed over 2 nights ago to have a spiritual encounter- and the next day oh wow- did god show up.. I went in my prayer closet ( literally ) to worship & pray and the next ting I know about an hour later there I am smack in the middle of the woods where my first husband committed suicide.. yep I saw the hole thing- He hung himself in a tree..  I was literally on my knees crying my face off because the lord brought me right there I felt the pain he was feeling.. it hurt me so terribly.. i was screaming  &  groaning.. asking the lord what do i do. next thing I know I am there smack in the middle of my sisters  assisted suicide.. I see the gun go off, I see her dye.. my heart ached so bad I cant even put it into words.. why, i am asking god?  then he shows me their hearts.. ( he reveals all this to me in vision or revelation) I can see both of them ..their hearts weighed down by chains, shackles almost.. their bondage.. such pain , that i could feel it... This encounter was something I had never experienced before- I have had some major encounters with god, but this brought me to my knees and to my face screaming to the lord. What he then says to me was...  you must help them get free.. and the ultimate answer , which was sin. & bondage  lead to death, his freedom is what brings life..  holy crap.. is what i was thinking really..  i was taken to a whole other world, a whole other realm of pain & hurt I hadnt seen before. he then reveals to me that i was harboring guilt & pain myself from these two deaths, of people who were so close to my heart, that were holding me back from my own freedom,  I thought I had made peace with there passing, but it was a hole in my soul that i couldn't even see, only the lord knew how deep it was- so he brought me there and delivered me out of it.. and what freedom that was. It took me a while to get back  to myself after experiencing such an amazing encounter..  so, the moral of my blog today is.. let the lord have his way.. even when it hurts, and we dont understand why, trust him and he will use you the way he needs to.. I am excited to see whats coming in the future.. god is really moving fast in my life since Johns passing, and thats ok- because I trust him.. and I may not like it, but its so worth it !!

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