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Friday, November 23, 2012

Lets get back to that drop everything for god thing!!

So, I am going to be totally honest here.. as we briefly walked through walmart last night.. in hopes of getting a christmas tree.. I go into complete "pity me mode" ... not something i do often.. but i was so jealous of all these people with tuns of carriages full of STUFF!!!  I remember those days, I am thinking, back when I had that lifestyle.. it was all about the STUFF and getting and buying for the kids and family.. well then on to big lots because walmart was nuts, just to get toothpaste.. and here again, my thoughts go right back to gosh I would love to b shopping right now...  then ...... the past few years of my life , drift into my mind.. and i hear the lord again tell me .. If you want to accomplish my purpose, you cant go back to work right now.. !!!
My flesh stands up, and i want to get mad ......and I want to puke!!! Ugh , I feel- darnit this is what I want to do .. I want to have lots of funds and go shopping !!!! like I always use to do.. I dont want to have to "trust " you that I can get the kids something or that you will provide for the next week or two.. or for christmas...
so anyhow.. we come home , and finish off  the great holiday still thankful and greatful!! Well, may I mention that on Thanksgiving morning as I was making my pumpkin cheesecake, even though I followed the recipes.. i ended up with a whole extra cheesescake- which I knew was for someone, just wasnt sure who yet.. 
( trusting him again).. this pie, ends up back at my house last night, in the fridge of course!! 
Well, Today the LORD so amazing  as he is, showed me just exactly why It was so much better not to be back in that old lifestyle and that I am exactly where he wants me to be:)  I had already made plans to go pick up a dear friends daughter to come spend the day with the girls, well, this beautiful woman is in the fight of her life, yes.. cancer  ( imagine) !!  I spent the morning chatting with her, and my heart was slowly breaking as it just brings back such memories and i reminisce in my mind of my recent journey with john..  I am listening to her talk and my heart wants to pray  for her and her family, I so remember what a roller-coaster of emotions goes with this junk.. the fight, the day to day not knowing....all of it... my heart kept slowly hurting.. so, immediately I knew I had to come home and make some meals for the family, this is the least I could do to help her and her wonderful husband ( who cooks) and hope to get some rest for them! So, I stop at the grocery store and get in mind what im going to make!  Hours later  and a smoked turkey soup, 2 pasta dishes, and a talapia/broccoli meal later... oh and some of my moms ( oriental spaghetti) guess who that pie is surpose to go to :) yep ,right along with the dinners!! So all in all heres what he showed me today ....- In that old way of life I used to live I would of been out shopping and in all that mess.. since I have submitted my life to him , i have to obey what he tells me .. ( which was obviously , not to shop ) and oh how worth it it is , to know what I chose to do today , instead of run around like a chicken with my head cut off amongst the crowds!! I am going to be able to bring some (yummy if I say so myself ) dishes to a family who is so wonderful and needs some loving!! I was then truly humbled, being that this is what he wanted for me today ... I couldnt be more honored or feel more BLESSED to be able to take just a minor part in his plan!!  When you humble yourself  ,  whether u like it or not, whether it is what u want or not, if it is what he is calling you to do... gosh, there is no greater feeling!! So, today I again ask you ... are you ready ???  R u ready to not shop again on black friday? r u ready to not work , until he shows u the way.. r u ready to spend the day serving others rather than yourself?  R u ready to be broken  down so he can shape u into who u r called to be !!!!!  Oh, for he is soo good, and his LOVE endures for ever!!  I  wouldnt change it for the world!!!!! Thank you LORD for choosing ME !!!!! 

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Make the commitment for this new life with Jesus!! The one who loves you no matter what , who will always be there to guide and walk or carry you!!

Hosea 4:6 6 My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge:

We must awake ..... The new generation rising up !! There must b a revival I'n their hearts.. It's our duty to ignite their fires! But how can we do that, if we as their trainers have no fire..? How can we teach and train them up by sitting still.. We simply can't! We need an awakening a revival ... A generation who loves the lord and who are willing to go and get dirty , who are willing to step outside the comfortable box they live I'n!! It's hard and it definetly won't be easy... But oh it will be so worth it!!! To feel gods love every moments of every day.. Not just once a week or on a sunday... He calls us to LIVE this way!!! FOLLOW ME he said ... And then to bring that love into the homes and hearts of the broken, the hurt, the sinner, the lost... Right here I'n our backyard!! No need to travel the world.. It's right here!! Look out your bak door!! With this holiday of thanks being tomorrow... Thank him for loving you soo much that he wants to break you from you..And your ways... He wants to fill those broken spots with his love and holy spirit, so you can give it away to those who need it...He wants to make you just like him.. To love with abandon, unconditionally, without stipulations .. Totally wide open!!!!! ARE YOU READY!!!

I have a few questions for you ..?

What IF there was more..?
What IF GOD has a bigger plan for YOU? aside from what your living....
What IF its passionate and erratically?
What IF you had to drop everything right now at the altar ( the way you live )...?

And start following the holy spirits lead completely..???
Would you trust him enough? to do that.....

What if its bigger than the American Dream?...
The Battle gets harder, the prayer life becomes a lifestyle and not just something you have to do ..
the praise comes out of your mouth, flowing naturally just as you speak words...
Worship becomes an amazing gift to you , to enter into his kingdom,
and to see new things he wants for your life.!!

Are you ready to be a RADICAL DISCIPLE... are you ready for your life to effect others..
Are you ready to learn how to hear him, how to be obedient even if it hurts, are you ready to change the next generation of the young people!

Are you ready for a Simply Devoted Life to the one who wants to bring you new life?????

ARE YOU READY......... ???


Saturday, November 3, 2012

Pressure... do we even c it coming..

well, i have come to realize that even when we don't know whats going on around us, something is always happening, shifting, moving ....its just gods timing when he breaks us down to realize what it is we need to let go of or just cry about..! I have recently put so much pressure on myself not even realizing it.. pressure in so many areas, for example: getting my house finished, or being what everyone wants me to be,or act how everyone wants me to act or go where everyone thinks i should go or say whatever people expect to hear from me.. today , i have come to realize even though we may not be looking at these things every moment they cross our mind, they are still there in the subconscious..and then something triggers it and we break.. breaking is good, if we can work through it of course and allow god to show us where it came from or why is it effecting us so much, then we must allow ourselves to cry or to scream whatever it takes...and come out on the other side! i have been so concerned with wanting to be the perfect example of this christian widow , mother, daughter and woman .. that i almost forgot i was human.. and i make mistakes, and i have my moments and i am not perfect and that that is ok, because my lord is bigger than these minor things, he gives me mercy & grace and he loves me even when im screaming and not perfect! Ya know, I must stop fighting him in my flesh.. the lord has been telling me for quite sometime now to get my house n order, to stay home, to stop running everywhere.. there is a season for that, and its not right now for me.. i worship the lord everyday.. in my home- i do not need to be in a church or running around for that to happen- he meets me right where i am everyday- whether that be in my closet or on my bed.. he shows up when i ask him too ...always, i have wanted to be there for so many people that i havent been there for myself.. or my family or my house the way i need too - so instead of doing what i think people would like me to do , i have made the choice today to do what he needs me to for my healing, for my life, for my family, for my kids... for him and I !