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Friday, November 23, 2012

Lets get back to that drop everything for god thing!!

So, I am going to be totally honest here.. as we briefly walked through walmart last night.. in hopes of getting a christmas tree.. I go into complete "pity me mode" ... not something i do often.. but i was so jealous of all these people with tuns of carriages full of STUFF!!!  I remember those days, I am thinking, back when I had that lifestyle.. it was all about the STUFF and getting and buying for the kids and family.. well then on to big lots because walmart was nuts, just to get toothpaste.. and here again, my thoughts go right back to gosh I would love to b shopping right now...  then ...... the past few years of my life , drift into my mind.. and i hear the lord again tell me .. If you want to accomplish my purpose, you cant go back to work right now.. !!!
My flesh stands up, and i want to get mad ......and I want to puke!!! Ugh , I feel- darnit this is what I want to do .. I want to have lots of funds and go shopping !!!! like I always use to do.. I dont want to have to "trust " you that I can get the kids something or that you will provide for the next week or two.. or for christmas...
so anyhow.. we come home , and finish off  the great holiday still thankful and greatful!! Well, may I mention that on Thanksgiving morning as I was making my pumpkin cheesecake, even though I followed the recipes.. i ended up with a whole extra cheesescake- which I knew was for someone, just wasnt sure who yet.. 
( trusting him again).. this pie, ends up back at my house last night, in the fridge of course!! 
Well, Today the LORD so amazing  as he is, showed me just exactly why It was so much better not to be back in that old lifestyle and that I am exactly where he wants me to be:)  I had already made plans to go pick up a dear friends daughter to come spend the day with the girls, well, this beautiful woman is in the fight of her life, yes.. cancer  ( imagine) !!  I spent the morning chatting with her, and my heart was slowly breaking as it just brings back such memories and i reminisce in my mind of my recent journey with john..  I am listening to her talk and my heart wants to pray  for her and her family, I so remember what a roller-coaster of emotions goes with this junk.. the fight, the day to day not knowing....all of it... my heart kept slowly hurting.. so, immediately I knew I had to come home and make some meals for the family, this is the least I could do to help her and her wonderful husband ( who cooks) and hope to get some rest for them! So, I stop at the grocery store and get in mind what im going to make!  Hours later  and a smoked turkey soup, 2 pasta dishes, and a talapia/broccoli meal later... oh and some of my moms ( oriental spaghetti) guess who that pie is surpose to go to :) yep ,right along with the dinners!! So all in all heres what he showed me today ....- In that old way of life I used to live I would of been out shopping and in all that mess.. since I have submitted my life to him , i have to obey what he tells me .. ( which was obviously , not to shop ) and oh how worth it it is , to know what I chose to do today , instead of run around like a chicken with my head cut off amongst the crowds!! I am going to be able to bring some (yummy if I say so myself ) dishes to a family who is so wonderful and needs some loving!! I was then truly humbled, being that this is what he wanted for me today ... I couldnt be more honored or feel more BLESSED to be able to take just a minor part in his plan!!  When you humble yourself  ,  whether u like it or not, whether it is what u want or not, if it is what he is calling you to do... gosh, there is no greater feeling!! So, today I again ask you ... are you ready ???  R u ready to not shop again on black friday? r u ready to not work , until he shows u the way.. r u ready to spend the day serving others rather than yourself?  R u ready to be broken  down so he can shape u into who u r called to be !!!!!  Oh, for he is soo good, and his LOVE endures for ever!!  I  wouldnt change it for the world!!!!! Thank you LORD for choosing ME !!!!! 

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